And he’s caring, gentle, honest, a good listener
“And he’s caring, gentle, honest, a good listener…”
“I’d do her”
Cartoon generously provided by Jason Love with permission.
You can find more cartoons by Jason at jasonlove.com
I was going to tell you that I love you
“I was going to tell you that I love you, but diamonds are forever.”
Cartoon generously provided by Jason Love with permission.
You can find more cartoons by Jason at jasonlove.com
Would you like a bag for this?
“Would you like a bag for this?”
Francis was about to say, “I’m already in one,” but then the clerk would laugh or joke back — a commitment Francis wasn’t ready for.
Cartoon generously provided by Jason Love with permission. You can find more cartoons by Jason at jasonlove.com
Deer John Letter
The dreaded “Deer John Letter” …
Deer John – It’s over! Our relationship has turned into one big rut! and I can’t take it doe more! I’ll be staying at Aunt Liers house for right now. May the headlights be away from you my deer! Love Doetty. P.S. There’s berries and nuts in the frig.
Cartoon generously provided by Anton Ballard with permission.
It’s a Common Form of Cancer
“It’s a common form of cancer … Unfortunately, it’s no more curable than a rare one.”
Cartoon generously provided by Jason Love with permission.
You can find more cartoons by Jason at jasonlove.com
It’s a good thing you switched cigarettes
“Well, it’s a good thing you switched cigarettes, Bob … You only have cancer light.“
Cartoon generously provided by Jason Love with permission.
You can find more cartoons by Jason at jasonlove.com
Hit him again
An old country doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. It was so far out that there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5 year old child. The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see while he helped the woman deliver the baby. The child did so, the mother pushed, and after a little while, the doctor lifted the new born baby by the feet and spanked him on the bottom to get him to take his first breath.
“Hit him again,” the child said. “He shouldn’t have crawled up there in the first place!!”
How can you tell the psychiatrist from the patients on the ward?
How can you tell the psychiatrist from the patients on the ward?
The psychiatrist has keys to the door.
I heard our HMO might not cover this
“I heard our HMO might not cover this.”
Cartoon generously provided by Chip Cooper. You can find more cartoons by Chip Cooper at Coopertoons
Official Gomer Rating Scale
| Admitting letter from local MD ends with “Sorry.” | 10 points |
| Local MD.’s letter begins with “Than you for admitting…” | 10 points |
| Has untreated fractured N.O.F. for over 3 weeks prior to presentation | 7 points |
Fractures hip
|
3 points 6 points 9 points |
| Spikes temperature night prior to discharge | 4 points |
| Decides “doesn’t like” nursing home that Social Worker has taken 6 weeks to locate | 5 points |
| Hemoccult positive stool night prior to discharge | 5 points |
| Sent back from X-Ray Department without having requested Barium Enema performed | 8 points |
Removes own
|
2 points 3 points 5 points 8 points 10 points 15 points |
Removes own foley with 30mL balloon full
|
5 points 10 points |
Any one of the following
|
5 points 5 points 5 points 5 points |
| Toenails cannot be cut with nail clippers | 3 points |
Urinates on
|
2 points 4 points 5 points 7 points 1 point |
Fluid balance chart OUTPUT column reads “voided in bed”
|
4 points 8 points |
| Stool specimen (unrequested) found 10 feet from bed | 5 points |
Aspirates dentures
|
6 points 12 points |
| Femoral punture required for daily bloods | 3 points |
| Problem list 1 page long | 5 points |
| Falls out of bed despite bed rails and 4 point restraint | 4 points |
Old notes
|
3 points 3 points 3 points |
| Admitted by same Intern to more than 3 different teams | 6 points |
| Overlooked on attending rounds on three consecutive days | 4 points |
| Requests cigarette during spirometry | 5 points |
Fecal impaction
|
6 points 12 points 20 points |
| Answers “yes” to all questions | 4 points |
| Answers “yes” to all questions asked to other patients in the room | 8 points |
Found drinking from urine bottle (own) Found drinking from urine bottle (neighbor’s)
|
3 points 6 points 9 points 12 points |
| Psychiatry consult suggests transfer but declines same | 3 points |
| Admission begins “Found unresponsive…” | 5 points |
Patient breaks thermometer while in:
|
3 points 6 points |
| Room disinfectant concentration causes conjunctivitis | 2 points |
| Refused by VA Hospital despite service in two World Wars | 8 points |
| Clings to resident physician.’s arm though grasp reflex is negative | 5 points |
| Easier to understand without dentures | 3 points |
| Welcomes Medical Students | 7 points |
| Daughter rings Social Worker more than 3 times per day | 6 points |
| Appreciates hospital food | 10 points |
| Requests bedpan immediately on arrival in hospital | 3 points |
| Sits in waiting room following discharge | 5 points |
| Knows catering staff by name | 5 points |
| File includes more than 3 Incident Report forms | 5 points |
| Squamous metaplasia of tongue due to prolonged exposure to air (Q sign) | 8 points |
| Successfully resuscitated by Paramedics | 20 points |
Relatives
|
3 points 6 points 9 points |
M.R.S.A. discovered after admission
|
2 points 3 points 4 points |
| Anointed by priest prior to presentation | 6 points |
| Presenting complaint reads only “Social Admission” and/or management plan reads only “For Placement” | 5 points |
| Bounces after turf to Neurosurgery | 20 points |
Score:
| 0-20 | : | Hardly a Gomer at all. Almost Human. |
| 20-40 | : | Borderline Gomertose. Reassess frequently. |
| 40-60 | : | A true Gomer. Avoid all contact. Placement a priority. |
| Over 60 | : | Apply for Special Leave immediately, or consider Psychiatry Training. |