Jan 29
The man looked a little worried when the doctor came in to
administer his annual physical, so the first thing the doctor
did was to ask whether anything was troubling him.
“Well, to tell the truth, Doc, yes,” answered the patient.
“You see, I seem to be getting forgetful. I’m never sure I can
remember where I put the car, or whether I answered a letter,
or where I’m going, or what it is I’m going to do once I get there
– if I get there. So, I really need your help.
What the Hell can I do?”
The doctor mused for a moment, then answered in his kindest
tone, “Pay me in advance.”
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Jan 29
New study reveals alarming statistic:
Senior Citizens are the biggest carriers of AIDS.
Hearing AIDS
Seeing AIDS
Chewing AIDS
Band AIDS
RolAIDS
Walking AIDS
MedicAIDS
Government AIDS
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Jan 28
“You’re in remarkable shape for a man your age,” said the doctor to the ninety-year old man after the examination.
“I know it,” said the old gentleman. “I’ve really got only one complaint-my sex drive is too high. Got anything you can do for that, Doc?”
The doctor’s mouth dropped open. “Your what?!” he gasped.
“My sex drive,” said the old man. “It’s too high, and I’d like to have you lower it if you can.”
“Lower it?!” exclaimed the doctor, still unable to believe what the ninety-year old gentleman was saying. “Just what do you consider ‘high’?”
“These days it seems like it’s all in my head, Doc,” said the old man, “and I’d like to have you lower it a couple of feet if you can.”
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Jan 24
Nurse: How old are you?
Patient: None of your business.
Nurse: But the doctor must know your age for
his records.
Patient: Well, first, multiply twenty by two,
then add ten. Got that?
Nurse: Yes. Fifty.
Patient: All right, now subtract fifty, and tell
me, what do you get?
Nurse: Zero.
Patient: Right. And that’s exactly the chance
of me telling you my age.
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