Category: Psychiatry

Jokes related to psychiatry.

You appear to have a preoccupation with sex

A patient is seeing his psychiatrist for the first time and is undergoing the Rorschach test. After each ink blot the patient excliams it is a couple copulating. The psychiatrist stops the test and...

What would happen if I cut off one ear?

Jon and Amanpreet were in a mental institution. This place had an annual contest picking two of the best patients and gives them two questions. If they got them correct, they’re deemed cured and...

Some of the patients were gaining weight

At a mental hospital the staff found some of the patients were gaining weight, so they were put on a diet of a glass of Tab and one apple for lunch. After eating their...

Slash my wrists or blow my brains out

Patient: “I can’t decide whether to slash my wrists, or blow my brains out.” Psychiatrist: “You have difficulty making decisions.”

One patient saved another from a suicide attempt

After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out of a bathtub, the director reviewed the rescuer’s file and called him...

It’s to keep the elephants away

The Psychiatrist was escorting a patient from one Psychiatric Hospital to another. They were travelling by train, and the Psychiatrist was intrigued to see the patient tearing up bits of paper and throwing them...

Is anybody in Room 27?

A man phones a mental hospital and asks the receptionist if there is anybody in Room 27. She goes and checks, and comes back to the phone, telling him that the room is empty....