Category: Medical Jokes

Medical Jokes, sorted by areas of medical specialty.

When is a Jewish fetus viable?

There’s a big controversy on the Jewish view of when life begins. In Jewish tradition, the fetus is not considered viable until after it graduates from medical school.

New Health Care Package

Whether you are for or against……………… The American Medical Association has weighed in on the new health care package. The Allergists were in favor of scratching it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make...

Hit him again

An old country doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. It was so far out that there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for...

Official Gomer Rating Scale

Admitting letter from local MD ends with “Sorry.” 10 points Local MD.’s letter begins with “Than you for admitting…” 10 points Has untreated fractured N.O.F. for over 3 weeks prior to presentation 7 points...

The Redneck Dictionary of Medical Terms

Artery…………………………..The study of paintings. Bacteria…………………………Back door to a cafeteria. Barium………………………….What doctors do when patients die. Benign………………………….What you be after you be eight Cesarean Section…………….A neighborhood in Rome. CTscan………………………….Searching for kitty. Cauterize……………………….Made eye contact with...

He wanted to be castrated

The young man was quite adamant. He insisted to the surgeon that he wanted to be castrated. The surgeon pointed out that this was a drastic step for a young man to take and...

Funny Medical Charts

Medical Charts -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- The following are actual, unedited, notes written by doctors on patients’ medical charts: 1. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. 2. On...

Funny Medical Transcriptions

A COLLECTIVE FROM MEDICAL INTERVIEW RECORDS WRITTEN BY VARIOUS PARAMEDICS, EMERGENCY ROOM RECEPTIONISTS, AND (WE ARE AFRAID) A DOCTOR OR TWO AT MAJOR HOSPITALS. The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut and...