Doctor Golf

Jokes about golf and doctors.

Multiple Allergies

Saw a patient from “another town” that had a car wreck and was brought to our ED with a tib/fib fracture. She had been labeled as having “multiple allergy syndrome”, and was being seen at an alternative medicine clinic in a neighboring big city.

When told by the Orthopod that she was going to have to have her fracture pinned, she wanted to know what type of metal he was going to use, as she was allergic to many of them. He told her “titanium”. She refused to agree to the procedure until she could rub some titanium against her skin to test for any reaction. As the OR did not have any non-sterile pins/rods, the doc went out to his car, opened the trunk, and brought back his Great Big Bertha titanium driver for her to test herself with…..

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Doctors were playing their usual Wednesday round of golf

A pediatrician, a surgeon and a managed care physician were playing their usual Wednesday round of golf, and started discussing how much of their capitated income was actually spent on patient care.

Specifically, they started to compare how they decided what portion of the collection to keep for themselves and what portion to use on their respective patients.

The pediatrician explains: “I draw a circle around myself and toss the money in the air. Whatever lands in the circle I keep for myself. What ever lands outside the circle, I use for the patients.”

The surgeon then adds: “I use a similar method, except that whatever lands in the circle I use for patient care, and whatever lands outside the circle I keep for my personal needs.”

The managed care executive said, “Well, I’m a religious man. When I toss the money in the air, I figure that any money God wants the patients to have, He can take.”

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