NEW MEDICINE FOR MEN
With Viagra such a great medical success for increasing men’s sexual prowess, Pfizer is bringing forth a whole line of drugs oriented towards improving the performance of men in today’s society.. Here are a few of the new ones:
DIRECTRA – a dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask directions when they got lost, compared to a control group of 0.2 percent.
Wonderful for those who have a hard time getting up on water-skis.
Forty-five minutes after taking it, you’ll get up and stay up, out of
Men taking this drug reported a sudden, overwhelming urge to perform
more child-care tasks especially cleaning up spills and “little
PROJECTRA – Men given this experimental new drug were far more likely to actually finish a household repair project before starting a new one.
COMPLIMENTRA – In clinical trials, 82 percent of middle-aged men administered this drug noticed that their wives had a new hairstyle. Currently being tested to see if its effects extend to noticing new clothing.
BUYAGRA – Married and otherwise attached men reported a sudden urge to buy their sweeties expensive jewelry and gifts after talking this drug for only two days. Still to be seen: whether the drug can be continued for a period longer than your favorite store’s return limit.
NEGA-VIAGRA – Has the exact opposite effect of Viagra. Currently undergoing clinical trials on sitting U.S. presidents.
NEGA-SPORTAGRA – This drug had the strange effect of making men want to turn off televised sports and actually converse with other family members.
FLATULAGRA – This complex drug converts men’s noxious intestinal gasesback into food solids. Special bonus: Dosage can be doubled for long car rides.
FLYAGRA – This drug has been showing great promise in treating men with O.F.D. (Open Fly Disorder). Especially useful for men on Viagra.
PRYAGRA – About to fail its clinical trial, this drug gave men in the test group an irresistible urge to dig into the personal affairs of other people.
Note: Apparent overdose turned three test subjects into “special prosecutors.”
LIAGRA – This drug causes men to be less than truthful when being asked about their sexual affairs. Will be available in Regular, Grand Jury and Presidential Strength versions.