Complaining to the Doctor of a persistent headache

The middle-aged spinster, well known for all her charity work and support for good causes (because she was a somewhat tedious self-publicist), was complaining to the Doctor of a persistent headache.

“What’s it like?” asked the Doctor.

“Like a tight band around my head,” replied the spinster.

Mindful that this type of headache is most often due to an unhealthy or stressed lifestyle, the Doctor asked if she smoked a lot.

“Certainly not, Doctor. Never have smoked, never will,” was the emphatic reply.

“Do you drink a lot of alcohol?”
“Doctor! I am strictly teetotal.”

“How often do you have sex?”
“That is an impertinent question, I am as chaste as the driven snow.”

“Perhaps you’re spending too much time going to church?”
“Impossible, Doctor. As I keep telling the Mothers Union, I go twice every Sunday and every Festival Day because it is our clear duty to do so.”

“Are you working too hard at your charity activities?”
“Well,” simpered the spinster, “I always believe that you can never do too much for your fellow man, even to the detriment of your own health.”

“Just as I thought,” said the Doctor, “It is clear that the headaches are due to your halo being too tight.”

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