Jan 24

Doctors were told to contribute to the construction
of a new wing at the hospital. What did they do?

The allergists voted to scratch it.

The dermatologists preferred no rash moves.

The gastroenterologists had a gut feeling
about it.

The neurologists thought the administration
had a lot of nerve.

The obstetricians stated they were laboring
under a misconception.

The ophthalmologists considered the idea
short-sighted.

The orthopedists issued a joint resolution.

The pathologists yelled, “over my dead body!”

The pediatricians said, “grow up.”

The proctologists said, “we are in arrears.”

The psychiatrists thought it was madness.

The surgeons decided to wash their hands
of the whole thing.

The radiologists could see right through it.

The internists thought it was a hard pill to
swallow.

The plastic surgeons said, “this puts a whole
new face on the matter.”

The podiatrists thought it was a big step forward.

The urologists felt the scheme wouldn’t hold water.

The cardiologists didn’t have the heart to say no.

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Rating: 9.5/10 (8 votes cast)
Jan 28

A patient is seeing his psychiatrist for the first time and is undergoing the Rorschach test.

After each ink blot the patient excliams it is a couple copulating.

The psychiatrist stops the test and excliams, “You appear to have a preoccupation with sex.”

And the patient replies, “You’re the one showing the dirty pictures.”

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Rating: 6.3/10 (4 votes cast)
Feb 12

Guy goes to a doctor and says he has a problem
with sex. “I think my privates are too small.” He says.
The doctor asks him which drink he prefers. “Well,
Lager,” he replies, quite bemused.

“Aaaahhh. There’s your problem. It shrinks things,
those Lagers. You should try drinking Guinness.
That makes things grow.”

Two months later the chap returns to the doctor
with a big smile on his face. He shakes the doctor
by the hand and thanks him.

“I take it you now drink Guinness?” asked the doc.
“No”, replies the man “but I’ve got the wife on Lager!”

Guy goes to a doctor and says he has a problem
with sex. “I think my privates are too small.” He says.
The doctor asks him which drink he prefers. “Well,
Lager,” he replies, quite bemused.

“Aaaahhh. There’s your problem. It shrinks things,
those Lagers. You should try drinking Guinness.
That makes things grow.”

Two months later the chap returns to the doctor
with a big smile on his face. He shakes the doctor
by the hand and thanks him.

“I take it you now drink Guinness?” asked the doc.
“No”, replies the man “but I’ve got the wife on Lager!”

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Rating: 2.9/10 (7 votes cast)
Feb 12

When he awoke after his operation, the man was appalled to be told that by mistake the surgeon had cut the wrong leg off. Realising the mistake they had, of course, to amputate the bad leg as well. They were all very sorry !

Not surprisingly, he was not happy with this and when he had been discharged from hospital he went to see his lawyer.

“No problem, we’ll sue them for everything they’ve got,” he was told, “You have a cast-iron case.” As this was going to be such a big case, they decided to seek the help of a famous New York expert lawyer who specialised in medico-legal problems, and the patient was to return to his lawyer when the expert’s advice had been received.

Several weeks later he was called back to his lawyer who met him with a rather gloomy face.

“I’m sorry,” he was told, “but the expert advises you not to proceed with the case as you have very little chance of winning it.”

“WHAT !” exploded the patient. “It’s an open and shut case. They cut off the wrong leg.”

“Ah, but don’t you see. You can’t win the case as you haven’t got a leg to stand on.”

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Rating: 3.3/10 (9 votes cast)
Jan 29

The man looked a little worried when the doctor came in to
administer his annual physical, so the first thing the doctor
did was to ask whether anything was troubling him.

“Well, to tell the truth, Doc, yes,” answered the patient.
“You see, I seem to be getting forgetful. I’m never sure I can
remember where I put the car, or whether I answered a letter,
or where I’m going, or what it is I’m going to do once I get there
– if I get there. So, I really need your help.
What the Hell can I do?”

The doctor mused for a moment, then answered in his kindest
tone, “Pay me in advance.”

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Rating: 8.6/10 (9 votes cast)
Jun 09

Artery…………………………..The study of paintings.
Bacteria…………………………Back door to a cafeteria.
Barium………………………….What doctors do when patients die.
Benign………………………….What you be after you be eight
Cesarean Section…………….A neighborhood in Rome.
CTscan………………………….Searching for kitty.
Cauterize……………………….Made eye contact with her.
Colic…………………………….A sheep dog.
Coma……………………………A punctuation mark.
D & C……………………………Where Washington is.
Dilate……………………………To live long.
Enema…………………………..Not a friend.
Fester……………………………Quicker than someone else.
Fibula……………………………A small lie.
Genital…………………………..Non-Jewish person.
G.I.Series……………………….World Series of military baseball.
Hangnail…………………………What you hang your coat on.
Impotent…………………………Distinguished, well known.
Labor Pain……………………….Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff……………………A doctor’s cane.
Morbid……………………………A higher offer than I bid.
Nitrates………………………….Cheaper than day rates.
Node……………………………..I knew it.
Outpatient……………………….A person who has fainted.
Pap Smear………………………A fatherhood test.
Pelvis……………………………Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative…………………..A letter carrier.
Recovery Room…………………Place to do upholstery.
Rectum……………………………Darn near killed him.
Secretion…………………………Hiding something.
Seizure…………………………..Roman emperor.
Tablet……………………………A small table.
Terminal Illness…………………Getting sick at the airport.
Tumor…………………………….More than one.
Urine…………………………….Opposite of you’re out.
Varicose………………………….Near by / close by.

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Rating: 7.0/10 (7 votes cast)
Feb 17

Kathy decides to remain standing on the scale until she loses weight.

Cartoon generously provided by Jason Love with permission.
You can find more cartoons by Jason at jasonlove.com

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Rating: 4.9/10 (12 votes cast)
Feb 13

Yes could you please send an emergency rescue team to my house? My husband insisted he could still wear his high school pants and if you don’t hurry over here this could turn mighty ugly!…

Cartoon generously provided by Anton Ballard with permission.

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Rating: 4.4/10 (8 votes cast)
Feb 13

Inspired by the hot coffee ruling, Bob decides to sue McDonalds for his obesity

Cartoon generously provided by Jason Love with permission.
You can find more cartoons by Jason at jasonlove.com

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Rating: 6.7/10 (7 votes cast)
Feb 13

“Fair Warning”

Ain’t nothing I hate worse than a smart aleck “SUN of a BEACH”!

Cartoon generously provided by Anton Ballard with permission.

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Rating: 5.6/10 (10 votes cast)
Feb 13

“My decision is final, Ms. Sanders — I am NOT giving Fifi braces.”

Cartoon generously provided by Jason Love with permission.
You can find more cartoons by Jason at jasonlove.com

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Rating: 2.9/10 (7 votes cast)
Feb 13

..uuhhh doctor, the patient was wondering if you could make his exam kinda quick …He says he hasn’t eaten in fourteen days

Cartoon generously provided by Anton Ballard with permission.

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Rating: 3.4/10 (7 votes cast)
Feb 13

“We wanted to make the stress test as realistic as possible.”

Cartoon generously provided by Chip Cooper.
You can find more cartoons by Chip Cooper at Coopertoons

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Rating: 7.5/10 (12 votes cast)
Feb 13

“What’s in today’s special?”

“Whatever the chef feels like throwing into it.”

“Well let’s hope that he doesn’t ‘throw something in’ to which I have an allergic reaction and die.”

Cartoon generously provided by Jason Love with permission.
You can find more cartoons by Jason at jasonlove.com

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Rating: 3.1/10 (7 votes cast)
Feb 12

The young man was quite adamant. He insisted to the surgeon that he wanted to be castrated. The surgeon pointed out that this was a drastic step for a young man to take and strongly urged him to reconsider his request.

“No,” said the young man, “I have thought long and hard about it, I have read all there is about it and my mind is made up. I must have the operation.”

The operation was duly carried out and when he had recovered from the anaesthetic and was back in the ward he got to talking to the other patients.

“And what are you in here for?” he asked th fellow in the next bed.

“To be circumcised.”

“DAMN, THAT was the word I meant !”

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Rating: 7.9/10 (17 votes cast)
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